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Native American Myths and Monsters
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27th-Apr-2009 06:44 pm - bigfoot tour?
hey folks,

i'm new to this community, I actually had a bigfoot related question

i live in oregon and a friend told me about a bigfoot tour somewhere in washington state that has a guarunteed "sighting".  I'm sure it's a hoax, but it also sounds fun!

i've been searching the interenet for info on where to sign up for this because my fiance's birthday is coming up and she loves bigfoot and i want to surprise her with this, but to no avail.  I'm wondering if anyone's heard of this or anything else like this in the pacific northwest (i live in portland)

thanks in advance!

-jackson
2nd-Mar-2009 07:27 pm - Monster Mondays - Dolichocephaloids

Todays Monster Monday from Dapper Cadaver travels down the spine of the Americas to Peru, circa 2000 years ago for a kind of person bizarre and real, the Dolichocephaloids or Peruvian Coneheads. There is currently a video going around getting a lot of attention saying they were found in Siberia. This video is wrong, they are from Peru.


What we do know about the Dolichocephaloids is limited, what we believe about them is vast, and what we don't know about them is enormous.

What we do know - These guys had really long squash shaped heads. They were human. They lived in Peru roughly 2000 years ago. There were a lot of them.

Most had brains the same size as other humans (1400-1600cc) others had larger brains, up to 2000cc or 2 liters. If you want to experience how much larger that is get a human skull and fill the brain case up with soda. Empty a whole 2 liter bottle. Whatever spills on your desk is how much bigger their brains are then ours.

More info, theories, and photos after the jump
2nd-Feb-2009 07:04 pm - Monster Mondays - Ugjuknarpak

7swims, originally uploaded by Boju.

Todays Monster Monday by Dapper Cadaver comes from the Inuit (eskimo) people of Alaska, behold the mighty Ugjuknarpak! The unkillable sea-mouse of the sea that is also a giant!

Ugjuknarpak's name derives from the gurgling sound his victims make as he wraps his long prehensile tail around their necks and drags them under. His friends call him Ugjuk for short. Ugjuk doesn't have any friends though, because no one goes near Ugjuk's island. Ugjuk has exceptional hearing and speed, and a hide that cannot be pierced by any hunters weapon. Try kayaking over to his place and you'll be dead before you leave the harbor. All that will be leftis your overturned canoe.

Do not f*ck with this mouse!

11th-Nov-2008 04:32 pm - Monster Mondays - Axolotl

axolotl precioso, originally uploaded by girl next door ...

In the canals beneath Mexico City and in the lake that surrounds it lives the Axolotl or "Water Monster." It is an ancient race of up to 2 ft long salamander that Aztecs say are the direct descendent's of Xototl, the dog headed god of Death. I think they look more like pokemon with their cartoonish eyes and mouths and anime style external gills.


In 1998 the waters of Lake Xochimilco held 1500 axolotl per square mile, when surveyed this year it was a mere 25 per square mile. Scientists are now saying this otherworldly creature may only have five years left on the planet before it succumbs to extinction.



What are Axolotls good for and how can they be saved after the jump

16th-Sep-2008 06:35 pm - Monster Mondays: Wisconsin Weirdos

hodag_capture, originally uploaded by Boju.

This edition of Dapper Cadaver's Monster Monday's is dedicated to my lovely Wisonsonian wife, Eileen.

Wisconsinites are a weird breed. As well as the beer basket of America, they're also the home of Barnum and Baily, the House on The Rock, The Forevertron, and the only company in America that still makes straight jackets for use in mental institutions. Likewise their monsters fall a bit on the strange side. The following beasts are only visible to Wisconsinians.

Hodag -
The beast pictured above. A small rhino/dragon like beast that is the earthbound soul of Minnesota's Babe the Blue Ox. The hodag had risen from the ashes of the ox. It was born when Paul Bunyan's ox, Babe, was burned for seven years to cleanse its soul of the profanity hurled at it by lumberjacks and its master. The cleansed part of the oxes soul went to Heaven, and from the earthbound ashes rose the foul smelling Hodag. The hodag is now a popular team mascot for various Wisconsin teams.





More Wisconsin Monsters under the jump</a>

22nd-Jul-2008 12:46 pm - Monster Mondays: Ebu Gogo

ebugogo2, originally uploaded by Boju.

When Captain Cook first landed on the Isle of Flores and brought the island to attention of the Western world, the natives told him they were not alone.

They said the island was also inhabited by little people calle Ebu Gogo or Ebu Gobo.

Later anthroplogists gathered more stories of the Ebu Gogo. Ebu means grandmother, and while Gogo or Gobo has no direct translation, it roughly means little grandmother who eats everything. Unlike the little people of Ireland and elsewhere, the Ebu Gogo had no magical powers. The natives considered them at best a pest, and a worst a dangerous boogie man that would eat children. They were only a few feet tall, with large arms and other monkey like traits, but not quite monkeys, and not quite people. They spoke their own language and wore clothing.

The natives tell their children not to wander in the woods or the Ebu Gogo will eat them.



The natives also say how the last Ebu Gogo died.

The Ebu Gogo had become an increasing nuisance in the village, stealing crops and livestock and damaging property. The villages wanted to make peace with them, so they invited them to a festival. A great bonfire was lit, and though the Ebu Gogo seemed to fear the fire, they all sat around it, human and little person alike. Then the foods were served. The Ebu Gogo did not know how to use plates or silverware, and through their utensils to the ground, which was a great insult to their hosts. They then ate everything, their share and the villagers share alike. One Ebu Gogo grabbed a human baby, and began eating that. At once the Ebu Gogo were chased out of town, where they holed up in a cave. The humans did not want to go in the cave, for they might be trapped, so they came up with a plan.

The next day they came to the mouth of the cave and told the Ebu Gogo that they wanted to make peace again, and they brough new clothes as a peace offering. With long bamboo poles they pushed in the clothing, which the Ebu Gogo began putting on. The clothes however were soaked in the natives lighter fluid type oil, and when all the Ebu Gogo were dressed the human burned the bamboo poles and lit all the Ebu Gogo on fire, burning them alive.

Up until 2 years ago the stories were considered to be about fantastical fairies, or monkeys, even though the natives insisted they were people.

Then a skull turned up in a cave belonging to a human less then 3 feet tall with a brain no bigger than a chimpanzee. Even dwarfs of similar stature only have brains about 15% smaller than a full size person, but this person had a brain nearly half our size. At first the evidence seemed to support it being a freak, a microcephalic individual, but then more bones turned up. In all 9 tiny individuals have been unearthed, stretching a time span of thousands of years. The youngest specimen dates back merely 12,000 years at a time when humans were thought to be the lone hominid on earth, and we had already begun agriculture.

The bones have been named Flores Man, and nicknamed the Hobbit.
They seem to be descendant from Homo Erectus.

5th-Jul-2008 06:02 pm - Monster Hunting In Los Angeles


10. Bigfoot


You make think Bigfoots are only a Northwoods beast, but Los Angeles has 3 distinct breeds of city ape. The first is your standard bigfoot, 6-11 ft tall shaggy gigantopithecus. The first sighting came in 1973 when a full sized Macho Sasquatcho chased down a pick up truck out in San Fernando Valley. The beast got close enough to the vehicle that they could smell its breath, which they later told reporters was "stinky." In 1974 a bigfoot was actually seen in the city, between 45th st and 47th st on Quartz Hill.


Best places to go bigfoot hunting: Big Rock Canyon in San Fernando Valley, Quartz Hill in the San Gabriel Mountains, Azusa at the San Gabriel Mountain Foothills, Campgrounds in Santa Clarita, Elizabeth Lake, Lancaster.



9. Skunk Ape

Bigfoots little brother is most commonly sighted in Florida, but he's also been seen in Palos Verdes and Redondo Beach, moving in and out of the suburbs via the sewers and knocking over trash cans for food. Skunk ape stands about 4 to 5 feet tall and reeks.

Best Place to go Skunk Ape hunting: Palos Verdes near the Dominator shipwreck. Redondo beach fields and suburbs at night.



8. The Beast of Billiwhack


The third kind of LA bigfoot might not be an ape at all. Seen once in Santa Paula and once in nearby Ojai, the Billiwhack beast has an shaggy, grey-black ape-like body, but an extended muzzle and goat like horns. It may be related to the Krampus or Wampa. Known to raid farms for chicken, corn, and dairy products.


Best places to go Billiwhack hunting: The Billiwhack Dairy in Aliso Canyon, Santa Paula, farms and forests in the San Rafael mountains and Ojai.



Beasts 7 through 1 after the cut, including a real live Sea Serpent
26th-Feb-2008 06:28 pm - Monster-a-Day: The Miqqiayuuq

Cloverfield or Miqqiayuuq

The above image actually may be a concept art depiction of the Cloverfield Monster, but it reminds me of the Miqqiayuuq, so thats what I'm calling it. In fact, just like the Cloverfield Monster, there are no clear images or depictions of the dreaded Miqqiayuuq, so the similarity may be more than superficial.

The Miqqiayuuq is a giant, dark, hairy and most terrifying of all - faceless sea monster from the icy depths of Canada's Hudson Bay and surrounding iced over fresh water . Miqqi, as his friends call him, though he has no friends, lurks in the depths, usually only seen as a great heaving dark shape.

This demonous monster would slide beneath the ice whenever the local Inuit came to the waters edge to fish or collect water, and he would reach our with his arms like tree trunks and great clawed hands and flip over their buckets and...

Thats it. That's all he's ever been recorded doing. More of a nuisance really, spilling fish and water. Or maybe just an excuse used by drunk ice fisherman as to why they returned empty handed. With all that size and sheer terror-ness it seems like kind of a waste. Maybe Cloverfield happened because Miqqi realized he could do so much more than be The Monster Who Flips Buckets.

New York isn't that far from the Hudson.

9th-Jan-2008 04:55 pm - Monster-a-day: Fearsome Critters

feejee mer-rat, originally uploaded by Boju.

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Blog Monster a day project, today I bring you the Fearsome Critters

Fearsome Critters arouse as tall tales told by American Lumberjacks. Whether they were drunk, trying to amuse each other, playing pranks on rookies and city slickers, or trying to explain odd creatures or phenomenon is debatable. Probably all of the above.

Fearsome critters are notable for their awesome names and rediculess nature. They are as follows-

Humany Beasts

* Agropelter
* Hyampom Hog Bear
* Tote-road Shagamaw
* Whirling Whimpus

Quadrupeds

* Axehandle hound
* Central American Whintosser
* Flittericks
* Funeral Mountain Terrashot
* Gumberoo
* Glawackus
* Gyascutus
* Hugag
* Jackalope
* Sidehill gouger
* Squonk
* Teakettler
* Tripodero
* Wampus cat
* Whangdoodle
* Wapaloosie

Miscellaneousupeds

* Hidebehind
* Snow Wasset

Fish

* Fur-bearing trout
* Goofang

Serpents

* Hodag
* Hoop snake
* Joint snake
* Snoligoster



If anyone has any photos or images of other Fearsome Critters, please post them!

8th-Jan-2008 06:56 pm - Monster-a-day: Bapets

noreen_cannibal_woman



As part of Dapper Cadaver's Monster-a-day project I bring you the Bapets. These were a race of female cannibals from the American West who were one of many races of cannibals who terrorized the Native Americans.


Bapets had enormous breasts filled with poisonous milk that could kill instantly. They had a taste for young children, whom they would kidnap, suckle, kill, and eat their dismembered bodies


Bapets lived forever, and could only be killed by obsidian arrows.


Indian mothers used legends of Bapets to scare their youngsters (and presumably husbands) not to be taken in by friendly, attractive strangers.


Bapets have been seen in the American Southwest as recently as 1988.

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

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